I picked up the phone to call you. I have been thinking about this phone call, the whole day. Oh gosh! I woke up this morning with a bright picture of you. But, do you know what? I kept my eyes closed. I didn’t want to expose my optic nerve to that empty space next to me. Honestly, I feel naked Without you, not nude, though. (Even if I wish sometimes we were that too).
I haven’t learned, a single English word yet, that can describe your beauty. For me, you’re one of a kind. No honey. I’m not talking about how you look. That’s quite obvious for everyone to absorb. But, when I look into your eyes, I need to remind myself to breath, I pinch myself in the arm to find out that I’m not dreaming, again. I don’t know if this makes sense over the phone, does it? I mean how is it possible to even describe, an Indescribable experience, as you, over a phone call. I would have preferred saying this over Skype, so you and I at least could see each other, so to speak. It would have been nice, can we agree on that?
I talked about you with my mentor, he once again reminded me: You will meet her, when it’s meant to be. Oh Shit! (sorry, but it really is an authentic “shit feeling”). Sometimes I get so tired of my mentor’s wise words. I tremendously want to believe those meant-to-be-words, but today, I doubt. That’s the reason why you and I are having this conversation. Thus, if-it’s-meant-to-be, you can leave a comment (or at least hit the like button). I mean, with one Billion users on Facebook, you must be out there somewhere.
I also checked in with God today, not on Facebook, though! I hope to live a long lovely life with you, before I check in with him, literally. But, God and I we had a chat about you (No, I wasn’t praying on my knees, I was more and less half asleep on my sofa). Honestly, he (or she, trust me I’m not a male chauvinist) was a bit quiet when I talked to him. He didn’t respond to my questions about you, I want to know: Where are you? If we are thousands of miles away from each other, or just miles. I also asked him, if you and I were already friends on Facebook? Yeah, I really asked those things.. Yes, I know how farfetched this conversation is.
However, I need to accept the fact. God is a man of few words. I mean how smart is it to control anybody, anything, anyway? (I have already tried that too). But altogether, even if he didn’t say anything when I shared my doubts, my loneliness, and my longing feelings for you. He brought me some sense of hope, and my despair evaporated. (Yes, he did it without saying anything, don’t ask me how it works).
This leap of hope, gives me courage, to believe, just for today, just another day. That you are not just a mirage in my mind. That there is a soulmate out there for everyone (even for me), and it happens when it’s-meant-to-be. The only thing I’m capable of doing, to find you, is to keep moving my feet and accept that my “ego-will” (driven by fears, doubts and loneliness) has nothing to do with the meant-to-be part in life. With this phone call, I want to have an authentic straight (Yes I’m straight) conversation, how I feel about you. No, it doesn’t make me a better human. But, it gives our relationship, a much better chance, to be what it’s meant to be.
Altogether, here I’m standing with my phone (yeah it’s an iPhone, don’t tell me you are a Droid user?) I don’t know if I have your number or not, so I can not call you today. I hope that’s OK for you? But, now you literally know I’m longing to see you (Remember, longing is the opposite of desperate). I really wish from the deepest part of my heart that you and I, could see each-other today. Wouldn’t it be lovely?
PS, Thanks for reading all the way down here (Even if you are not my soulmate). Have you heard the expression sharing-is-caring? This is it! Please, share some love! (That’s what you literally do here). Please unload everything you got on this piece, re-share, comment and like it. You might be invited to the wedding. Deal?